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Posted at 4/22/2011 5:07:04 pm by marikit
Thursday, July 21, 2005
I am exactly 25 today. And though I really do not feel much about being 25 (except that I do feel old), I just want to stop and have a simple assessment of my life.
Ten things I am
1. I am beautiful.
2. I am significant.
3. I am loved.
4. I am a channel of blessing.
5. I am a friend to many.
6. I am wise.
7. I am a dreamer.
8. I am able (through Christ).
9. I am content.
10.I am so blessed!
Ten things I want to have
1. A set of "The Chronicles of Narnia"
2. A set of "The Lord of the Rings"
3. A laptop computer
4. An underwater camera case
5. A complete set of Coelho's work
6. A sewing machine
7. A flat tummy (yup! gone are the days...)
8. My own business
9. A house of my own
10.A cozy little hut by the beach!
Ten things I want to do
1. Start regular exercise
2. Write a review of my favorite book
3. Travel abroad
4. Go to Boracay
5. Get in touch with old friends
6. Learn how to cook
7. Learn how to sew
8. Go back to school
9. Write more, sing more, read more
10.Try professional theater
Ten things I need
1. Regular exercise (for the benefit of my scoliosis-suffering back, weak lungs, and bulging tummy)
2. A stricter diet
3. Fatter savings
4. Internet access
5. Better time management
6. More of JESUS
7. Can't think of any more...
Posted at 7/21/2005 4:18:23 pm by marikit
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
I don't know what's wrong with me but things feel out of place in my life right now. The sad thing is, I can't even pinpoint which particular things are out of place, or if my life is just one big mess altogether. I've been trying to search inside me for answers but I don't feel anything.
I'm in a job I imagined I would love. And I do love the experience of mingling with children everyday. But something is lacking. Maybe because I expected to have a class of my own, which I didn't get this year (again). I'm feeling kind of tired -- bored in my routine right now. But in the school calendar, June is really too early to speak of tiredness or boredom.
And what do I do with a relationship that's 1 1/2 years old, and a partner that's a hundred miles away? I am honestly getting bored with our routine on the phone. Sure, we're lucky to have SUN Cellular, but I'm getting tired of our usual conversations. I miss him when we're not talking but I only get frustrated when we talk. Where to?
The school's yearbook has been on my desk since summer. But I was busy then. Officially, I'am on the third week of working at it and I can't seem to get my act together. See, I'm the yearbook's writer, editor, and artist rolled into one. I desperately need some positive energy in my life so I could get the book running.
Posted at 6/22/2005 2:57:45 pm by marikit
Sunday, September 26, 2004
(With excessive use of nevers)
I don't know when this started but I've been numb inside for quite sometime. I am never too happy or too sad, never too affected by anything. A lot of times, people think I'm too cool, lacking passion and aggressiveness.
I never talked too much, and rarely ever talked a lot. When I talk, I make it to the point. A lot of things are obvious to me, and I feel I need not talk about them. I perceive things by feeling, and in many occasions, my feelings had been right.
Quite often, I worry about this numbness. I feel like I'm different from many people I know. I am almost never shaken, never too afraid of the uncertain. I have simple solutions to problems, and I easily accept things -- changes, limitations, problems.
I am never too affected by people. I was never too in love and never too hurt (or maybe I just don't want to admit it). I rarely ever missed anyone badly. Not my parents or siblings or friends or boyfriend when I stayed in China for a week. Not my parents and sister when they moved back to the province, and now that I'm in Mindoro, not my office friends, or brothers, or boyfriend. I love them all dearly. But I almost never long for them.
I don't remember ever being attached to anything that belonged to me. I've lost a few wallets, bags, cellphones and never once felt lacking or impaired without them. The fact is I never even had to adjust to not having them anymore. It was the same with any job I had. The leaving part was never without struggle, but the days after were all the same. I never had to condition my mind of being jobless or having a new job.
Maybe it has something to do with my temperament. Sometimes I just wish I felt more.
Posted at 9/26/2004 2:57:45 pm by marikit
Thursday, September 09, 2004
Thank God for allowing me to be where I am now. Barely three weeks in my new job, I am thoroughly enjoying everything about it. I mean THIS.IS.LIFE.
to be continued...
Posted at 9/9/2004 5:26:59 pm by marikit
Monday, August 16, 2004
-Motherly- You're the motherly type. You love to
take care of the one you love, and generally
you can be a bit overprotective and possessive,
but you know, that isn't always such a bad
thing. At least you'll be a good mom in the
future. What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?brought to you by Quizilla
Posted at 8/16/2004 11:23:40 am by marikit
Monday, August 09, 2004
That thing called love
(Random Thoughts from Fairview to Makati)
This morning, in the shuttle, I remembered E. We haven't seen or heard from each other for 10 days now. We decided to give our relationship a moratorium to give us time and space to fix some things we need to settle individually -- primarily our personal walk with God.
During the first couple of days, it felt kind of sad to be alone after having gotten used to having company most of the time. It was strange just to walk around Glorieta or eat at Mc Donald's. But I got used to it sooner than I expected and now I don't miss him a lot. He doesn't fill my thoughts. I don't worry about him. I don't ache for him like I used to. Sometimes I feel guilty that I feel this way. But there are also some occasions when I worry that he might feel the same way. Now that would be a problem. Because between us, he's the more clingy partner. But What if right now, as we do not speak nor text nor see each other, he realizes he's better off prioritizing other things?
From the very start of this relationship, I was aware that E and I were working this out toward marriage. That was my commitment to him when I gave him my yes -- given of course that there are no major unacceptable/unreconcilable differences along the way. Now, this commitment is no easy thing. It means learning to put up with his imperfections, looking for the best in him, and learning to submit to him with all my love and respect.
But then when situations highlight our differences, no matter how trivial they are, I easily forget my commitment to him. Being the brat and maldita that I am, I easily flare up or throw tantrums at him. Sometimes I get mad at him for not being like me. This makes me scared I might not be a good partner or parent in the future.
When did being in love with ones partner start to be the basis of relationships and marriage, anyway? In earlier times, and even in Bible stories, women were just given away to any man their parents chose for them. Sometimes, I wish I just had no choice. At least I wouldn't have myself to blame if I ended up in a bad marriage. Hay...
Posted at 8/9/2004 2:57:45 pm by marikit